by kizbot

Bold as Brass

20170820_204149

As you can see the wee witch is proud of her work. THAT RUG IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCRUNCHED UP!

It’s supposed to be nicely placed by the balcony doors so that when I come from a wet balcony after watering the triffids I dont traipse soggy footprints across the parquet.

FAT CHANCE!

The fat ungrateful baggages (treats are SO OVER) think I put it there so they can use it for running slides and to rub off all extra cat fur.

They’ve ruined all my curtains. They’ve destroyed my tablecloths. I’ve only saved the sofa because I keep it covered. And I cant have a tiny simple rug. Nope.

And…

The glace cherry on the tourta? They gloat. Positively. GLOAT.

There’s going to be a revolution in this palace. Mark my words!

41 Comments

      3. A goddess, more or less, well rename her Morrigan, and you’ll not be far wrong. Don’t you have three cats? Morrigan, Bobth and Macha would not appear too wrong.

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      4. Elsa the Frozen princess is currently on loan to a lady 2 streets away who lost her elderly cat in the july heatwave (49 deg)… she has a massive jungle balcony and no Dora to terrorise her there.

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  2. Time to put your foot down… well, to do something. This cannot go on. The trouble is, it is hard to discourage the little beasties once they decide to get up to mischief. We used to use a rolled-up newspaper and whack it down beside the wrongdoing cat (not, of course, hitting the animal). That usually did the trick – until the next time.
    Once one of the Burmese had a fit of rancour – she had done something she should not have and got what-for as a result. She waited hours until everyone was out of the house and then trashed the bathroom curtains and some other curtains. Purposefuly.
    Dog owners have no idea. Dogs are stupid and noisy. Cats are CUNNING.

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      1. Of course. Well, withhold treatsies for a bit, but finita la musica it is not, yet. I know.
        Sneaky little things. Cunning, as I’ve said.

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  4. Awww – glad I am not the only one with a cat which moves blankets (or rugs) – mine digs tunnels under my duvet, whenever I cover the duvet with a wooly blanket, I find out crunched together into a ball – and my cat lying on the duvet on the pillows. looking at me why I have not yet made that game possible again.

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      1. Yes! We call that BedRats, because the cat tries to stalk and kill them. When she finds out it is my hand or foot, she departs to the end of the bed and sits with her back to me, in a majestic huff.
        For disciplinary purposes, I have a friend that swears by the efficacy of a squirt bottle or forceful plant mister aimed squarely at the miscreant. I have not tried it as ours is a re-homed show Birman and was already housetrained when we got her, and is now much too old to change her evil ways. Which, to be honest, don’t amount to much more than thinking every table and bench top is hers to explore, and that furballs are exempt from the litterbox rule. Oh my once glorious cream carpets, now costing me an annual fortune in getting the professional cleaners in, and in buying lotions and potions to clean up in between his visits.

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      2. i dont have the heart to squirt them… I jyst do a majestic huff myself. only shelagh gets furballs. theyre nearly always delivered on the bed.

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  6. Well it could be due to the Solar Eclipse, or it could just be the next step in the world domination campaign that cats have been plotting since forever ( the world may improve!), either way you have no choice but to submit.

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  7. What a sweet thing!
    hahahahaha…
    Being we are both dog and cat people I can relate…when we built the house and moved into it, one of the cats expressed her displeasure by having a poop in one of the new cupboards. Our cats however, live outside in their nice cat houses, and claim the large front deck as their own.
    When I was young we had indoor Siamese, who were too clever by half, and also scaled the curtains like wolverines in the Rockies.
    Have you ever seen the funny story ‘a dog’s day vs a cat’s day’? Have a google, hilarious.
    I posted it on the Graun once, as did a few others.

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    1. dies that involve the depressed cat starting with ‘day 672 of my incarceration …’ And the dog xazoxaroumeno gushing about the brilliant fun?
      How to give a cat, dog a pill is also brilliant.
      Where are yr cats in winter?

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      1. That’s the one…hilarious.
        The cats stay outside in winter, they have their box which is full of warm clothes and is like a sauna if you open the top of it, which we don’t. They get fed as much as they want,and get warm milk and water, and if we bring them inside they cry to go out no matter how cold it is. There is of course the shop as well which has lots of hay outside that they can burrow into.
        Many barn cats and out door cats here acclimatize to the weather and do very well.
        I know that sounds strange to indoor cat owners, but they are by all appearances and actions very happy.

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      2. I have absolutely no experience of cold weather life and wouldnt dream of saying a word on sth im a know nowt on.
        Those cats are hardier than me. i’d die indoors with your winters…

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  9. Oh yes, another Siamese story from my youth…one of them used to lie on top of the TV, with his tail swishing in front of the screen…one day he was so fast asleep he rolled over and fell off…the look of outrage at us, on his face, was priceless.

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  10. Oh I know kiz, our winters can be quite something, but the cats are well looked after, dogs too. Everyone has a nice warm house, and the only one that comes inside is the wee beagle, because he is comparatively furless.
    The cats grow massive coats, and look like small lions, only with fur everywhere.
    It’s quite funny to see them bounding through the snow when they go about their cat business in the daytime, they seem to really enjoy hunting in it.
    Being in the country, even though they get fed as much as they want, they still like to stalk and hunt.

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  11. Are you famliar with Les Barker’s Guide Cats For the Blind?

    Of some matters I am ignorant
    But this I know for certain
    The best place for a blind man
    Is not halfway up a curtain

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  13. I went to check on son and dil’s place yesterday while they are down with baby in the big city hospital.
    Their cat is an evil troll in disguise when I opened the door those yellow eyes glared out from the totally black body and she let out such a hiss, then growled.
    Like the time I had to drop something off for them and she attacked my leg. I went outside to wait.

    (She’s not been left alone either, they have a house sitter, but I had to check the garden.)

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      1. You still sick? sorry to hear that.
        Hot toddy with lots of honey and lemon and some kind of booze – whisky recommended!

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  15. That’s too bad. Down with dairy, up with Vitamin C, and make sure you get enough rest. I know two peole who got ME recently by trying to do too much after a bad virus, so try not to stress your immune system.
    Fingers crossed for you.

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